by Lenore Buth
There seems no way to escape the hate in our society. Yes, hate.
If this sounds extreme, think how often you hear remarks like, “Our Nation is so divided right now! Where will this all end up?”
Once differences of opinion were not only tolerated but welcomed because they livened up conversations. That’s not to say everything was peachy-keen all the time, just that people could disagree without one or the other feeling threatened or disrespected.
Not now.
Now our personal choice of values--whatever it is—lands us on one “side” or the other. The new standard for comments, both in the media and close to home, is to be sure they bite.
Angry, crude words spoken during TV interviews no longer surprise or shock us. But shouldn't they?
Get-togethers with friends and family often feel a little or a lot uncomfortable
We tiptoe around certain topics and names as carefully as if we were picking our way through a minefield in wartime.
Why wouldn’t we? Most of the time some of "them" are related to "us" by blood, by marriage, or by long-lasting friendship. Or by being fellow believers in Jesus. Almost always, we want those relationships to endure but wonder whether that's possible. So we pray and persevere in what sometimes feels like a delicate balancing act.
The question for us as Christian individuals is how are we to live? How can we keep on loving and avoid losing hope?
We look for wisdom beyond our own and find it, as always, in the Bible
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
Hate "trickles down" on all ages
Just a few generations ago the USA was heralded as a prime example of the melting pot. Not lately. Now many people maintain it’s more honest to see ourselves as "groups" and "communities." Then, it's assumed, each entity naturally holds to a single point-of-view, such as: “They" are evil and unworthy of trust, therefore "they" should have no right to be heard--and certainly, they could not be worthy of respect.
We know is it’s not helpful to add to the chorus of complaints and hate. Our call as Christians is to live by Jesus' admonition to "do unto others"--to treat others as we want to be treated. The Apostle Paul tells us how in verses like these:
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
The trickle-down effect on children and young people
Every parent, teacher or childcare provider soon learns that even young children watch and listen to everything-- especially when adults assume they’re paying no attention. This means children and teens constantly are being taught ... something. By someone with whom they spend a lot of time, even if those "someones" are not in-person, but on a screen.
Although it’s true that youngsters and teens absorb a lot from TV shows and from the social media sources they follow, every study comes to the same conclusion: Young people overwhelmingly cite their parents and others who love them as the ones who influenced them most. In other words, the people who are present in their lives.
Read that for what it is: Encouragement. Social media is not all-powerful in the lives of children and teens.
Feeling inadequate for what God calls us to do serves a useful purpose, for it reminds us where our strength comes from:
Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26
How can we protect our kids?
Obviously, we can't shut out the world or fashion one of those Jetson-type plastic bubbles in which they can live.
We do what counts most: We pray for them. And we pray again. We remind ourselves--and them—that our goal is to follow Jesus’ example. We aim to live our faith, at home and in the way we speak to and about other people.
Even so, every day shows us talk is easy but living out our faith day after day often feels like more than we can handle.
Yet we are not left to struggle on our own. The Holy Spirit working within us gently shapes and teaches us to be stronger and yes, wiser. Little by little, he changes us and turns our weaknesses into strength.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control ... Galatians 5:22
Truths to hang on to
Even though we consider issues carefully and believe we’re right, we need to remember that we could be misguided--or wrong in our opinion(s.) Always, we pray for humble, teachable hearts.
He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble his way. Psalm 25:9
A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
First take time to listen and evaluate before making judgments. Great-Grandma was right when she reminded us, "Don't go around looking for insult where none is intended."
Or, as the often-quoted American psychologist Abraham Maslow put it, "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail."
Can we still make a difference in today's world?
Our Creator gave us our minds and the ability to think, so it’s okay to hold our own carefully considered point-of-view. When we express it, with God’s help we can speak thoughtfully and gently.
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15 NLT
Kindness and mercy toward others are called for, just as we have experienced in Christ.
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
"While we were still sinners ... " Let us be people who find it in our hearts to show love, rather than join in the hateful rants.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:11
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:35
In every situation our call as those who know the Truth is to let it (gently and kindly) come through in what we say and what we do. Day after challenging day. Only then will the world around us, in the words of that beloved worship song, "know we are Christians by our love."